The Ten Commandments for an Unhappy Life

I'm reading a book called The Power of a Positive Woman. (Alright, alright, you caught me. I read it when I remember to. That's what happens when you're going to school full time, working two jobs, and are reading 2 other books.)

This book is amazing though. I'm only through the first chapter and it completely changed my perspective on a few things. One came across in the introduction. Karol Ladd lists the following and really got me thinking...

The Ten Commandments for an Unhappy Life
1. Thou shalt hold onto bitterness and anger.
2. Thou shalt never get too close to anybody. Keepth all of thy relationships at surface level.
3. Thou shalt wear a glum expression on thy face at all times.
4. Thou shalt put aside play and shalt inflict upon others that which was once inflicted upon thyself.
5. Thou shalt grumble about the small stuff, forgetting the bigger picture.
6. Thou shalt forget about others' needs, thinking only of your own.
7. Thou shalt hold regular pity parties, inviting others to joinest thou.
8. Thou shalt not take a vacation.
9. Thou shalt expect the worst in all situations, blame and shame everyone around thyself for everything, and dwell on the feebleness, faults, and fears of others.
10. Thou shalt be in control at all times, no matter what.

Breathe. Is that anyway to live life? Bitterness and anger? Forgetting the bigger picture? Not vacationing?

I'm putting a stop to these rules right now. Right now! Nobody should live by them. I'm taking this list and making changes.

I invite you to do the same.

1. Bitterness and Anger-Friends, there are things we can't change in life. By the grace of God, there is forgiveness in the world. If you have an enemy, pray for them. It will help, trust me! I have a whole list of people (ahem, who I don't particularly care for...) and I pray for them whenever a negative thought crosses my mind. Believe me...this sucks. and it's hard. I know you can do it, though! If this is hard, write Ephesians 4:31-32 on an index card and carry it with you.

2. Don't get too close-I call BS on this. While you don't have to give every single nitty gritty detail about your life to people, there should be at least one friend you can call in the middle of the night and have them listen to you, to pray with you, to check up and make sure things are okay. As you get closer to Christ, God might take some of your "friends" out of your life. Trust what God is doing! (PS, I put that really big because, well, I'm still learning that lesson and sometimes, I write to you to help me understand what God is doing in my life better.) Galatians tells us to bear one another's burdens. How can you have someone help and support you along the way if you don't share?

3. Glum expressions-My mom used to tell me I always looked like I wanted to kill someone. Funny since my smile is the first thing people usually complement me on. They say it lights up my face. Glum expressions don't convey the wonderful news of Christ you have to share with the world. You don't have to be smiling and laughing all the time (because, quite frankly, that's a little scary) but smile at strangers and friends when you're walking down the street or grocery shopping. People will notice something's different about you and it will spark a conversation that might just be what they need. Matthew said we need to be the light of the world! Glum expressions don't help, friends.

4. Inflicting on others what they do to you-There are four words my momma told me when I'd come home upset-kill em with kindness. I don't know about you but there are some people I'd rather kill with something else. [[doesn't that go back to number 1... =/]] People have off days. Not everyone is perfect all the time. But! If your attitude is mostly painful towards those who are angry or mean towards you, try sitting down with an open mind and talking to them. They might be facing a terrible battle and just need a friend. Plus, Matthew 7 says people who judge others will be judged themselves and I'm here to tell you, it's not the person you're judging who will be doing it back.

5. Grumbling-If grumbling and bitching was an Olympic sport, I'd have more gold metals than I could count. The Bible tells us to do all things without grumbling. I'll let you know how that goes for me...

6. Forgetting about others-Being selfish, according to the Word, is an act of sinful nature. Don't turn your eyes away from those in need or those who are seeking for help or truth. Pray for them. Shine Christ's light into their lives. I know you'll live a happier life if you help someone else.

7. Pity Parties-Let me say this: there is a difference in an occasional pity party and one every minute of every day. I'm famous for throwing pity parties for myself. I pour a glass (or 3) of wine, pop in When Harry Met Sally or Breakfast at Tiffany's, open Reese Cups, and sit in the dark, and cry. I doubt I'll be retiring the wine, movies, and chocolate anytime soon but I will say this is an occasional thing. If you are struggling with regular pity parties, shoot me an email. I'll help you out.

8. No Vacation-It hurt my heart to write that. I know there are things preventing people from taking a week every summer to go to the beach and get away from the world. That isn't the only vacation you can take! One of my go-to things is a "stay-cation" where I don't go anywhere but I just enjoy time away from the stresses and hecticness of life. I always come back rejuvenated and ready to tackle the problems of the world. I'll let you in on one of my favorite stay-cations. (I actually do this about once a week!)
Things you need:
A quiet spot
No cell phone
No laptop
A cup of coffee
Worship music
A book
About once a week, I'll get under my bed (it's lofted so I have a little fort set up under there with a beanbag, pillows, and blankets) and just read and worship. I always have a cup of coffee because it warms my soul. No cell, no laptop, just peace.

9. Expecting the worst-If you are expecting the worst in every situation, the Devil is playing with your mind! There is no reason you should dwell on faults and fears! If you feel these thoughts creeping back into your heart and mind, try turning on some worship music and opening your Bible. The one thing Satan can't stand is when someone is worshiping God. Let the Holy Spirit stir in you. If you've accepted Christ into your life and the Spirit into your soul, I have good news! There's no room for anything else to live in there. Kick Satan out of your mind and invite God for a conversation.

10. Control-This is one topic I am not an expert on. Recently, I realized I didn't have control over everything and became oddly at peace about it. I'm not perfect and my mind sometimes wanders back to the old way of thinking but, again, worship music and the scriptures written around my home have helped. God's timing is perfect. Every time. The future is in God's hands. You should take comfort in that.

Doesn't that feel much better? You can't do this on your own...and honestly, who would want to? Find a group of friends who will keep you accountable and will love and support you, even when you're struggling with those pity parties.

As always, I'm here for you, too.