Test to Trust

Have you ever had one of those feelings that what you wanted for so long is something you don't want anymore? I have two theories as to why this has happened to me. One: It's not the plan that God has for me and I'm slowly realizing it. Two: I don't trust that it's going to happen so I'm pretending it's not what I want because when this thing doesn't happen for me, I won't be as crushed. These are the thoughts I'm having as I'm sitting eating my Chicken and Rice soup and Chicken Salad on a delicious Croissant from Mug N Muffin in Aldie, VA. (Yes, that's my sad attempt to be a food critic. If you're ever in the area, you NEED to go!) Anyway, back to my point. How much do I trust God if I'm not fully allowing Him to take this away from me? How can I tell people to trust God and not to worry about anything if I'm laying awake at night worrying about what my next move will be or where I will be in a few weeks? I'm some role model, right? I'm working on not being such a control freak. I have to say though, the more I'm praying, the more I feel the need to be less of one. God must be doing something right, right? :) There. Just a mumble about what's going on in my life. I don't have to come to a conclusion at the end of every entry.