Saturday, July 13, 2013
Test to Trust
Have you ever had one of those feelings that what you wanted for so long is something you don't want anymore? I have two theories as to why this has happened to me.
One: It's not the plan that God has for me and I'm slowly realizing it.
Two: I don't trust that it's going to happen so I'm pretending it's not what I want because when this thing doesn't happen for me, I won't be as crushed.
These are the thoughts I'm having as I'm sitting eating my Chicken and Rice soup and Chicken Salad on a delicious Croissant from Mug N Muffin in Aldie, VA. (Yes, that's my sad attempt to be a food critic. If you're ever in the area, you NEED to go!)
Anyway, back to my point. How much do I trust God if I'm not fully allowing Him to take this away from me? How can I tell people to trust God and not to worry about anything if I'm laying awake at night worrying about what my next move will be or where I will be in a few weeks?
I'm some role model, right?
I'm working on not being such a control freak. I have to say though, the more I'm praying, the more I feel the need to be less of one. God must be doing something right, right? :)
There. Just a mumble about what's going on in my life. I don't have to come to a conclusion at the end of every entry.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Am I Ready?
It's been a long time since I've blogged about things. Part of it is because I'm busy. For those of you who know me, you'll be shocked to find out I've been going to bed around 10:30 every night. You'll be even more shocked to know I'm asleep by 11. Part of it is because since I've been home, I've been slacking in my relationship with God.
I'm sitting at my new job, reading a book I picked up at the Family Christian Bookstore called The Circle Maker. Like most things in my life, I'm months behind reading this book. It came out a few years ago but I'm just getting around to picking it up. I'm on chapter two and it hits me: Is this why I've been distant from God?
As you know from my blog entries, I'm a control freak with a capital control. I like things done my way and on my time. If I don't have control, I freak out a little bit. My dayplanner: color coded and broken down into 15 minute slots. My desk at work: rooms and badges are filed in order, everything is in a binder or clipboard, and directions are in plastic sleeves. I even used my label maker to label the drawers I put my underwear and socks in in my closet. Real. Control. Freak.
So what happens when I surrender myself to the Lord and let Him handle things I can't do anything about? I've learned to trust in Him to provide me with job interviews but I'm about to grab it back. I tried giving Him my love life but I ended up with a broken heart. Imagine my surprise when I turn to page 16 and Mark Batterson tells me that drawing circles around things in my life will show me what God wants and what His will for my life is. Umm...last time I checked, the first part of that thought was my life.
I know what some of you are thinking (I'm looking at you, Z). Em, you always start this journey and never finish. Em, you always start blogging about a book and then either don't finish or you finish the book and never blog. Em, you just can't do it.
Well, I'm drawing circles now and this first one's for you.
And no, that's not a Christian threat.
My dreams and fears are going to be surrounded by the greatest love of all. I'm going to learn that my wants are not always what I need. I'm trusting in God. I'm trusting in God. I'm trusting in God.
If any of you have read this book and have things that worked for you, email me! If any of you have things that need to be circled, let me know.
I'm sitting at my new job, reading a book I picked up at the Family Christian Bookstore called The Circle Maker. Like most things in my life, I'm months behind reading this book. It came out a few years ago but I'm just getting around to picking it up. I'm on chapter two and it hits me: Is this why I've been distant from God?
As you know from my blog entries, I'm a control freak with a capital control. I like things done my way and on my time. If I don't have control, I freak out a little bit. My dayplanner: color coded and broken down into 15 minute slots. My desk at work: rooms and badges are filed in order, everything is in a binder or clipboard, and directions are in plastic sleeves. I even used my label maker to label the drawers I put my underwear and socks in in my closet. Real. Control. Freak.
So what happens when I surrender myself to the Lord and let Him handle things I can't do anything about? I've learned to trust in Him to provide me with job interviews but I'm about to grab it back. I tried giving Him my love life but I ended up with a broken heart. Imagine my surprise when I turn to page 16 and Mark Batterson tells me that drawing circles around things in my life will show me what God wants and what His will for my life is. Umm...last time I checked, the first part of that thought was my life.
I know what some of you are thinking (I'm looking at you, Z). Em, you always start this journey and never finish. Em, you always start blogging about a book and then either don't finish or you finish the book and never blog. Em, you just can't do it.
Well, I'm drawing circles now and this first one's for you.
And no, that's not a Christian threat.
My dreams and fears are going to be surrounded by the greatest love of all. I'm going to learn that my wants are not always what I need. I'm trusting in God. I'm trusting in God. I'm trusting in God.
If any of you have read this book and have things that worked for you, email me! If any of you have things that need to be circled, let me know.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Help Tucker Breathe
The Bible is full of verses about helping one another.
Philippians 2:4 "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
I could go on and on. Instead, I'm going to tell you about a brave man named Tucker who needs the love and prayers of our community. This is taken from a friend of mine's Facebook:
To all my friends, acquaintances and colleagues, have you ever stepped outside on a beautiful day and taken a deep BREATHE? Only to find your lungs and soul filled with crisp, refreshing oxygen that seems to bring you to life. Well we are beyond fortunate to be able to taste the elixir of life and often we all take it for granted. However, not all of us are so lucky.
Cystic Fibrosis, a nasty disease that deteriorates the lungs and other vital organs in the body snatches this ability to breathe from those effected by its wretchedness. This disease took my sister: my hero, my best friend and my rock from me almost three years ago.
Chantel Wilson Wells was lucky enough to receive a double lung transplant which granted her a year more on this beautiful Earth. Now you might think 365 days is not a lot but to her and all of those who loved her, it was a gift that had no price. It was due to the constant efforts and fundraising of her loved ones that granted her a second BREATHE of life and her transplant.
Now, 1 of Chantel's Best friends who was one of her biggest rocks during her entire life struggling with her disease needs our help! Tucker Gordon a saint to all that know him needs a new set of lungs and its his time to get his 2nd BREATHE! The cost of the surgery and after care is beyond expensive and is not reachable alone.
Together, as your friend, co-worker, and representative Please, Please, Please help us give Tucker the support he showed my sister throughout her life that kept her fighting.
Today, not as individual people but as a family, we can help save the life of Tucker Gordon: a son, a brother, a caretaker, a fighter and a survivor.
Please my friends today give as little as or as much as you can to his cause because every penny helps. In 2 days we have all raised over $11,000!!! But we are not there yet, share this and forward this with all your friends! Support and friendship are powerful tools its time to show what we are capable of!
Upload your own #HelpTuckerBreathe Photo!!!!!
Thanks you all for your support, time and consideration!
To donate and keep up with the movement to #HelpTuckerBreathe follow this link!!!!
http://www.gofundme.com/
I'm not asking for money from any of you. I know most of you have never met me before. However, I'm a firm believer that the body of Christ supports one another. What is a toe without a foot? What is a hand without an arm? What is a cheek without a face? Whatever part of the body you are, whether you are the sense seeking person, a load bearing person, or the person who just is there so the rest of the body is complete, we each have a purpose.
Dakota's sister, Chantel, had a purpose. God has an amazing angel now. Tucker has an amazing story and part of that story is the compassion of people across the world. The video below is from a Richmond news station. The women speaking are family members to Dakota. Please take a moment to watch and then pray for the Hills as well as the Gordons. To post prayers or follow updates, see the #HelpTuckerBreathe hashtag on Twitter or on Facebook.
Philippians 2:4 "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
I could go on and on. Instead, I'm going to tell you about a brave man named Tucker who needs the love and prayers of our community. This is taken from a friend of mine's Facebook:
To all my friends, acquaintances and colleagues, have you ever stepped outside on a beautiful day and taken a deep BREATHE? Only to find your lungs and soul filled with crisp, refreshing oxygen that seems to bring you to life. Well we are beyond fortunate to be able to taste the elixir of life and often we all take it for granted. However, not all of us are so lucky.
Cystic Fibrosis, a nasty disease that deteriorates the lungs and other vital organs in the body snatches this ability to breathe from those effected by its wretchedness. This disease took my sister: my hero, my best friend and my rock from me almost three years ago.
Chantel Wilson Wells was lucky enough to receive a double lung transplant which granted her a year more on this beautiful Earth. Now you might think 365 days is not a lot but to her and all of those who loved her, it was a gift that had no price. It was due to the constant efforts and fundraising of her loved ones that granted her a second BREATHE of life and her transplant.
Now, 1 of Chantel's Best friends who was one of her biggest rocks during her entire life struggling with her disease needs our help! Tucker Gordon a saint to all that know him needs a new set of lungs and its his time to get his 2nd BREATHE! The cost of the surgery and after care is beyond expensive and is not reachable alone.
Together, as your friend, co-worker, and representative Please, Please, Please help us give Tucker the support he showed my sister throughout her life that kept her fighting.
Today, not as individual people but as a family, we can help save the life of Tucker Gordon: a son, a brother, a caretaker, a fighter and a survivor.
Please my friends today give as little as or as much as you can to his cause because every penny helps. In 2 days we have all raised over $11,000!!! But we are not there yet, share this and forward this with all your friends! Support and friendship are powerful tools its time to show what we are capable of!
Upload your own #HelpTuckerBreathe Photo!!!!!
Thanks you all for your support, time and consideration!
To donate and keep up with the movement to #HelpTuckerBreathe follow this link!!!!
http://www.gofundme.com/
I'm not asking for money from any of you. I know most of you have never met me before. However, I'm a firm believer that the body of Christ supports one another. What is a toe without a foot? What is a hand without an arm? What is a cheek without a face? Whatever part of the body you are, whether you are the sense seeking person, a load bearing person, or the person who just is there so the rest of the body is complete, we each have a purpose.
Dakota's sister, Chantel, had a purpose. God has an amazing angel now. Tucker has an amazing story and part of that story is the compassion of people across the world. The video below is from a Richmond news station. The women speaking are family members to Dakota. Please take a moment to watch and then pray for the Hills as well as the Gordons. To post prayers or follow updates, see the #HelpTuckerBreathe hashtag on Twitter or on Facebook.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Update, Rambles, and Processing Thoughts
In the past few weeks, I have discovered that my life is even further away from where I thought it was going to be after I graduated. If I could yell obscenities at the top of my lungs, I would. Not sure if it would make me happier or feel better so I haven't tried it yet. Plus, I care about my image.
Anyway, I'm desperately looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I have less than a month until I'm suppose to have a piece of paper that says, "Congratulations! You accomplished something and this is what you have to show!"
I think the real issue is fear. I have an irrational fear of the unknown. I try and try to embrace life as it comes but at the end of it, all I want is for someone to tell me where my life is going to end up. I don't care if I like it or not. I just want to know.
God doesn't work that way.
It goes back to this whole God shows you one step at a time...you just have to trust Him not to lead you to an edge and push you off. Sometimes, I feel like I either have taken a wrong turn or I'm in one of those crazy fun houses and when I fall down the stairs, I'm actually falling back up from where I'm walking from.
The funny thing about that is God often will put you in a place that you think you're miserable in to protect you and keep you for something better. This is totally a hard thing to understand. I don't even understand it. But, I know the next time I reread these entries, I'm going to stumble onto this one and a) be completely embarrassed that it makes no sense because it's rambles and b) know that the heartache I'm going through in my life right now is nothing because God has prepared me for something greater. (Still waiting to know what's better in my love life. A boyfriend breaking up with you via Facebook message isn't exactly fun...)
I'm reading Finding An Unseen God by Alicia Britt Chole right now. She's a former atheist turned Christian and the story (so far) is about her journey. It's a great, quick read and I highly recommend it to everyone! I got so engrossed in it last night, I felt like I really knew her. I know, it's weird how I read an author and automatically think we're friends but I hope you all do the same with me. Try giving it a read and shooting me a message about what you think! I love talking to people.
Back to my original point about wearing different hats (WHERE DID WE GET OFF FROM THAT?!)
I think I'm going to start using Christian as one of the first things I describe myself with. The standard "student, nanny, sister, blah blah blah" is getting old and not doing anything to glorify God. I challenge you to do the same.
And check out my Pinterest and Twitter accounts :)
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
God will meet you where you are...
...if you trust in Him and His will. James 4:8 says "Come near to God and He will come near to you".
Have you ever had that feeling that things aren't in your control? Welcome to my life.
I had a job interview today in Bristol. I felt great about it until I called home to tell my Dad about it. All of the sudden, I felt really bad about the whole situation. I don't know what's going to happen after May 18th. It's scary. I don't have a job lined up. I'm not going to graduate school. I'm not in control.
And I cried.
Then, on US-19, God met me, hugged me in my car, and whispered to my soul that He wasn't going anywhere and I was going to be okay.
Why?
Because God shows favor to those who honor him. He listens to their cries for help and saves them. (Psalm 145:19)
Have you ever had that feeling that things aren't in your control? Welcome to my life.
I had a job interview today in Bristol. I felt great about it until I called home to tell my Dad about it. All of the sudden, I felt really bad about the whole situation. I don't know what's going to happen after May 18th. It's scary. I don't have a job lined up. I'm not going to graduate school. I'm not in control.
And I cried.
Then, on US-19, God met me, hugged me in my car, and whispered to my soul that He wasn't going anywhere and I was going to be okay.
Why?
Because God shows favor to those who honor him. He listens to their cries for help and saves them. (Psalm 145:19)
Sunday, March 31, 2013
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Hello friends!
Terribly sorry for my absence the last few days. I know they were terribly important to the project I was working on and I desperately wish I had an excuse other than "I got busy" for my lack of posting.
Lightning catch up round? Great! I'm ready when you are!
Good Friday: The people back in that day didn't know it was good. There was a trial, Jesus was beaten, mocked, made to carry a cross, then hung on it and was crucified.
Jesus said he willingly gave his life up for those that had sinned. On the cross, he asked God to forgive the people because they didn't know what they were doing. Right before Jesus died, the skies got dark, there was an earthquake, and the temple veil was torn. Jesus was then taken down from the cross, prepared, and put in a tomb.
Holy Saturday: This is the day that "nothing" happens. The high priests asked Pilate to seal Jesus' tomb because they were afraid the disciples were going to steal his body and pretend he has been resurrected. Jesus went to hell to set the captives free. The people mourned over Jesus because they thought he was gone forever.
Easter Sunday: Early Sunday morning, several women, including Mary Magdalene, went to the tomb to anoint the body of Christ. When they arrived, a massive earthquake was felt as an angel rolled the tomb stone back and told them Jesus was not there. Jesus was alive! They met Jesus on the path and fell at his feet in worship. They were instructed to go tell the disciples to go to Galilee and they would encounter him there. Jesus was seen by over 500 people when he came back. Jesus encountered some of the disciples but they didn't recognize him. Can you imagine not recognizing Jesus? Have we seen him and not known who he was? That's a scary thought and a different topic for a different day.
To celebrate Easter, I'm going to give you my top five favorite Easter songs. Some are traditional, some are contemporary, but they all speak a message of great hope that we can find in Christ Jesus being alive!
He is risen, friends. He is risen indeed! Christ took the power of death. Will you be thankful to live?
Terribly sorry for my absence the last few days. I know they were terribly important to the project I was working on and I desperately wish I had an excuse other than "I got busy" for my lack of posting.
Lightning catch up round? Great! I'm ready when you are!
Good Friday: The people back in that day didn't know it was good. There was a trial, Jesus was beaten, mocked, made to carry a cross, then hung on it and was crucified.
Jesus said he willingly gave his life up for those that had sinned. On the cross, he asked God to forgive the people because they didn't know what they were doing. Right before Jesus died, the skies got dark, there was an earthquake, and the temple veil was torn. Jesus was then taken down from the cross, prepared, and put in a tomb.
Holy Saturday: This is the day that "nothing" happens. The high priests asked Pilate to seal Jesus' tomb because they were afraid the disciples were going to steal his body and pretend he has been resurrected. Jesus went to hell to set the captives free. The people mourned over Jesus because they thought he was gone forever.
Easter Sunday: Early Sunday morning, several women, including Mary Magdalene, went to the tomb to anoint the body of Christ. When they arrived, a massive earthquake was felt as an angel rolled the tomb stone back and told them Jesus was not there. Jesus was alive! They met Jesus on the path and fell at his feet in worship. They were instructed to go tell the disciples to go to Galilee and they would encounter him there. Jesus was seen by over 500 people when he came back. Jesus encountered some of the disciples but they didn't recognize him. Can you imagine not recognizing Jesus? Have we seen him and not known who he was? That's a scary thought and a different topic for a different day.
To celebrate Easter, I'm going to give you my top five favorite Easter songs. Some are traditional, some are contemporary, but they all speak a message of great hope that we can find in Christ Jesus being alive!
He is risen, friends. He is risen indeed! Christ took the power of death. Will you be thankful to live?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Holy Week: Maundy Thursday
This is the day that Christians usually think about when they start "Holy Week". Today, tomorrow, and through Sunday, Christians everywhere will reflect on the actions of others and realize the power of love, specifically, the love God has for us.
The most beautiful thing happened with Jesus and his disciples. Jesus wrapped a towel around his waist and washed his disciples feet. Can you imagine? Your Lord and Savior washing your feet? I probably would have been like Peter and would have tried to stop Jesus. Maybe because I know my feet are gross...but probably just because I don't feel I'm worthy of such an action, especially from Jesus. After Jesus washed his disciples feet, he reminds the disciples to love and care for one another. No servant is greater than his master and you will be blessed if you follow Jesus' example.
When he was done, Jesus took the bread and the wine from the meal and blessed it, giving us what we now celebrate as holy communion. Before, Jesus told Judas he knew he was going to betray him. The other disciples didn't understand.
Then, Jesus took the bread, gave thanks, and said, "Take, eat; this is My body." Jesus then took the cup, gave thanks, and said, "Drink from this, all of you. This is my blood, poured out."
After the meal was finished, Jesus told Peter he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed. Peter didn't believe it and promised he would not, along with the other disciples. Then, Jesus told them he was getting ready to go where they could not follow him. Confused, they didn't know where or how to find him. Jesus assured them he would prepare a room for them in his Father's house. Then, Jesus told the disciples he was the only way to go to the Father. Those who wish to must believe him him first.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays to be glorified, prays for his disciples, and prays for all believers. He goes, prays, and returns to find the disciples sleeping three times. When Jesus went to them the third time, he knew it was his time to be arrested.
During the arrest, Judas pointed Jesus out to the priests and Peter stole a sword and cut off a guard's ear. Pretty intense, huh? To make it worse, Jesus was right about Peter. He was sitting and three different people came up and asked if he was with Jesus. Peter said no all three times. Immediately after the third time, a rooster crowed and Peter ran and wept.
Can you feel the emotion of that Thursday evening? It brings chills to my skin thinking about it. I remember sitting in church when I was younger during our Maundy Thursday service. As our Pastor would read deeper in the scripture, the lights would get more and more dim. Eventually, they would be out. Sitting in the dark, listening to the words being read was intense. What made it even more intense, someone would ring a gong and the spotlight would shine on the cross. It was such a powerful image, I don't think it will leave my heart for a long time.
Tonight, I challenge you to read Matthew 26 and John 13-18:18. The words in the Bible will give you the details I left out. Open your hearts tonight as Jesus prepares to give the ultimate gift to the world. Are you ready to receive it this weekend?
The most beautiful thing happened with Jesus and his disciples. Jesus wrapped a towel around his waist and washed his disciples feet. Can you imagine? Your Lord and Savior washing your feet? I probably would have been like Peter and would have tried to stop Jesus. Maybe because I know my feet are gross...but probably just because I don't feel I'm worthy of such an action, especially from Jesus. After Jesus washed his disciples feet, he reminds the disciples to love and care for one another. No servant is greater than his master and you will be blessed if you follow Jesus' example.
When he was done, Jesus took the bread and the wine from the meal and blessed it, giving us what we now celebrate as holy communion. Before, Jesus told Judas he knew he was going to betray him. The other disciples didn't understand.
Then, Jesus took the bread, gave thanks, and said, "Take, eat; this is My body." Jesus then took the cup, gave thanks, and said, "Drink from this, all of you. This is my blood, poured out."
After the meal was finished, Jesus told Peter he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed. Peter didn't believe it and promised he would not, along with the other disciples. Then, Jesus told them he was getting ready to go where they could not follow him. Confused, they didn't know where or how to find him. Jesus assured them he would prepare a room for them in his Father's house. Then, Jesus told the disciples he was the only way to go to the Father. Those who wish to must believe him him first.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays to be glorified, prays for his disciples, and prays for all believers. He goes, prays, and returns to find the disciples sleeping three times. When Jesus went to them the third time, he knew it was his time to be arrested.
During the arrest, Judas pointed Jesus out to the priests and Peter stole a sword and cut off a guard's ear. Pretty intense, huh? To make it worse, Jesus was right about Peter. He was sitting and three different people came up and asked if he was with Jesus. Peter said no all three times. Immediately after the third time, a rooster crowed and Peter ran and wept.
Can you feel the emotion of that Thursday evening? It brings chills to my skin thinking about it. I remember sitting in church when I was younger during our Maundy Thursday service. As our Pastor would read deeper in the scripture, the lights would get more and more dim. Eventually, they would be out. Sitting in the dark, listening to the words being read was intense. What made it even more intense, someone would ring a gong and the spotlight would shine on the cross. It was such a powerful image, I don't think it will leave my heart for a long time.
Tonight, I challenge you to read Matthew 26 and John 13-18:18. The words in the Bible will give you the details I left out. Open your hearts tonight as Jesus prepares to give the ultimate gift to the world. Are you ready to receive it this weekend?
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