Update, Rambles, and Processing Thoughts

I realized the other day that I wear a ton of different hats on a daily basis. I'm always Emily but as the day goes on, the hat I wear is different. I'm a student. A nanny. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A leader. A...christian? Why is that not at the top of my list? Why is that not the first thing I identify with when people ask who I am?

In the past few weeks, I have discovered that my life is even further away from where I thought it was going to be after I graduated. If I could yell obscenities at the top of my lungs, I would. Not sure if it would make me happier or feel better so I haven't tried it yet. Plus, I care about my image.

Anyway, I'm desperately looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I have less than a month until I'm suppose to have a piece of paper that says, "Congratulations! You accomplished something and this is what you have to show!"

I think the real issue is fear. I have an irrational fear of the unknown. I try and try to embrace life as it comes but at the end of it, all I want is for someone to tell me where my life is going to end up. I don't care if I like it or not. I just want to know.

God doesn't work that way.

It goes back to this whole God shows you one step at a time...you just have to trust Him not to lead you to an edge and push you off. Sometimes, I feel like I either have taken a wrong turn or I'm in one of those crazy fun houses and when I fall down the stairs, I'm actually falling back up from where I'm walking from.

The funny thing about that is God often will put you in a place that you think you're miserable in to protect you and keep you for something better. This is totally a hard thing to understand. I don't even understand it. But, I know the next time I reread these entries, I'm going to stumble onto this one and a) be completely embarrassed that it makes no sense because it's rambles and b) know that the heartache I'm going through in my life right now is nothing because God has prepared me for something greater. (Still waiting to know what's better in my love life. A boyfriend breaking up with you via Facebook message isn't exactly fun...)

I'm reading Finding An Unseen God by Alicia Britt Chole right now. She's a former atheist turned Christian and the story (so far) is about her journey. It's a great, quick read and I highly recommend it to everyone! I got so engrossed in it last night, I felt like I really knew her. I know, it's weird how I read an author and automatically think we're friends but I hope you all do the same with me. Try giving it a read and shooting me a message about what you think! I love talking to people.

Back to my original point about wearing different hats (WHERE DID WE GET OFF FROM THAT?!)

I think I'm going to start using Christian as one of the first things I describe myself with. The standard "student, nanny, sister, blah blah blah" is getting old and not doing anything to glorify God. I challenge you to do the same.

And check out my Pinterest and Twitter accounts :)

God will meet you where you are...

...if you trust in Him and His will. James 4:8 says "Come near to God and He will come near to you".

Have you ever had that feeling that things aren't in your control? Welcome to my life.

I had a job interview today in Bristol. I felt great about it until I called home to tell my Dad about it.  All of the sudden, I felt really bad about the whole situation. I don't know what's going to happen after May 18th. It's scary. I don't have a job lined up. I'm not going to graduate school. I'm not in control.

And I cried.

Then, on US-19, God met me, hugged me in my car, and whispered to my soul that He wasn't going anywhere and I was going to be okay.

Why?

Because God shows favor to those who honor him. He listens to their cries for help and saves them. (Psalm 145:19)